After my ex and I split, he had a revelation: he\u2019d decided the only way he could truly be happy was by being in a relationship with multiple women. According to him, it was \u201cimpossible\u201d to find everything he needed in just one person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let me be clear\u2014this isn\u2019t about bashing non-monogamy. If that works for you and everyone involved is fully on board, that\u2019s your business. But let\u2019s talk about what\u2019s really being said when someone claims they need<\/em> multiple partners to feel fulfilled: that no single person is ever enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This was a man who, throughout our relationship, insisted that emotional connection was essential\u2014that he couldn’t sleep with someone unless that connection existed. One of his main criticisms of me was that I was too<\/em> independent, that I didn\u2019t open up enough for him to fully trust me with his heart. So imagine my shock when he later said he was fine getting different things from different people\u2014even sharing partners in some cases.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He told me that once the sense of obligation is gone, you’re free to take what you want and leave the rest behind. He\u2019s always been confident, but I never expected him to use that confidence this way. \u201cIf there\u2019s one thing I can do,\u201d he said, \u201cit\u2019s convincing others to be with me.\u201d Still, I tried to understand. I listened, I sat with it, I gave him space to explain. I told him it didn\u2019t align with what I believe. I believe in building something deep with one person\u2014in growing through seasons, in being enough for each other not through perfection, but through presence. But instead of hearing me, he told me that if I really<\/em> cared, I\u2019d support him in this new path\u2014which, of course, included his desire to seek out other women to meet his \u201cdifferent needs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Framing it as an emotional awakening didn\u2019t make it any less selfish. This wasn\u2019t a shared evolution\u2014it was one person redefining love on their terms and expecting everyone else to fall in line. And if you didn\u2019t? You were labeled unsupportive, insecure, or emotionally unevolved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s call this what it is: a refusal to commit. He wanted the freedom to chase every spark without the effort required to keep one flame burning. It wasn\u2019t mutual. It wasn\u2019t respectful. It was manipulative. It was non-ethical<\/em> non-monogamy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And honestly? Most women aren\u2019t okay with that. Because being treated as just a fraction of someone\u2019s emotional or physical fulfillment doesn\u2019t feel like love\u2014it feels like settling. It feels like being a puzzle piece when you want to be someone\u2019s whole picture. Most women I know don\u2019t want to be one slice of someone\u2019s romantic pie chart. They want to be chosen fully. They want to be enough\u2014and they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But we\u2019re told to accept this setup, or risk being labeled \u201cjealous,\u201d \u201ccontrolling,\u201d or \u201ctoo insecure to handle it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And we\u2019re tired of that narrative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We\u2019re tired of being asked to \u201cunderstand\u201d choices that sideline us. Tired of being seen as just part of someone\u2019s fulfillment instead of their whole choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So no\u2014I still don\u2019t agree. Not because I don\u2019t care about him, but because love doesn\u2019t ask you to be a bystander in someone else\u2019s exploration. It doesn\u2019t ask you to nod along while being written into just one chapter of the story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s nothing wrong with knowing your worth and saying, this doesn\u2019t work for me<\/em>. That doesn\u2019t make you closed-minded. It means you value depth over novelty. It means you want to be chosen every day\u2014not because you check a box, but because someone sees you as whole and worthy of complete<\/em> love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So if someone tells you they \u201cneed\u201d multiple partners to be happy, pay attention to how they go about it. Is it open, honest, and respectful? Or are they pushing you to override your intuition just so they can keep their options open?<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s a difference\u2014and women are allowed to say no without apology. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" After my ex and I split, he had a revelation: he\u2019d decided the only way he could truly be happy was by being in a relationship with multiple women. According to him, it was \u201cimpossible\u201d to find everything he needed in just one person. Let me be clear\u2014this isn\u2019t about bashing non-monogamy. If that works […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[13,24,26,31,38,46],"class_list":["post-68","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationship-health","tag-dating","tag-life","tag-love","tag-mental-health","tag-relationships","tag-writing"],"yoast_head":"\n
WHAT. THE. FUCK.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s okay to tell him to move along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n